Wednesday, February 20, 2013

# 7 Things your Muslim wife Won’t Tell you

nah, baca ni lepas tu ingat. jangan baca lepas tu hilang ingatan ye?

7 Things your Muslim wife Won’t Tell you


most men have A hard time understanding women. Even a woman they’ve been married to for years.

one minute She’s perfectly fine. the next, she’s crying Like a baby.

She complains about something but when we offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied.

After several years of marriage (And counselling) i’ve learned to not worry so much about what my wife says. Instead, I should worry about what she doesn’t say.


1. Above all, She Wants Your love

When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love.
And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect.
And the vicious cycle repeats itself.
Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife.
that’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks.
And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks.


2. She’s Bored

It’s the same thing every day.
Week in and week out.
Not only is she bored but she’s also tired.
She has to care for the kids and run the household and then pamper you.
Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife must feel.
And Let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down.
So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special. give her a break.
Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite desert home.
Just Do something every now and then to break the monotony.


3. She Wants to be Complimented

Appreciation.
Everybody wants it.
No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, it taken for granted.
Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals.
But she does.
And she does that on top of all the other things in her life:
  • Caring for the kids.
  • Working or going to school.
  • Striving to be a better Muslimah.
Show your Muslim wife that you appreciate and are thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family.
A simple “thank you” is a good start.


4. She’s Insanely Jealous

 there’s a reason most women don’t care for polygamy.
Be very careful how you talk about other women around your wife.
Don’t ever compare your wife to another woman.
  • Don’t compare her to Some female movie star.
  • Don’t compare her to your mother.
  • Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other wife!)
She’s wants to know and believe that she is the center of your universe. So make her feel that way.
Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got jealous. Aisha (RA) even got jealous of Khadijah (RA) who was dead.
Expect, and respect, the same type of jealousy from your wife.

5. She Wants You to Help Her become A Better Muslimah

If you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to watch this video I did a couple of weeks ago for Muslim men. In this video I stress the importance of men taking the role of leader within their families.
And that’s the problem with a lot of Muslim men these days.
Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives).
Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what better way to lead her than to be show her how to be a better Muslimah?
But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not that great either. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.

6. She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard

It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. That’s not entirely true.
Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you can never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in something. Let’s be reminded of the following hadith:

Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.”Sahih Bukhari
 
So, yes sisters should be careful about denegrating the things your husband does for you.
But very often, you brother, make it hard for her to hold your tongue.
Perhaps you’re always finding fault with her and she looks for things in your character to get even.
Perhaps you’re not working (or not working hard enough) and she has to work to take up some slack.
Perhaps you’re just not that great of a guy.
Once again, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons to complain and nag.

7. more Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy Relationship With You

Women don’t get married just because they think it’s gonna be fun.
They get married because they want a happy family life and they believe you’re gonna give it to them.
Outside of her religious duties, that’s the most important thing in a Muslim woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim family.
The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give that to her.
  1. Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good husband to her. Be kind. Show her you love her.
  2. Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife. Yes, you have the right to do both. But using them as threats is inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage.
  3. Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan, and be patient with her. There’s nothing Shaytan would love more than to destroy your marriage.

# khamis

random

# emosi pagi-pagi khamis rasa nak campak je beg laptop tinggal tepi sofa dan jalan tanpa seluar kerja atau skirt labuh. aku nak berjalan pakai selipar dan hot pant tidur tu boleh? lapang dunia! lapang kepala! *&&^%^%#(0-!!

# petang ni ada petromod course. sebab ada course ni lah aku nak datang office pagi ni. kalau tidak jangan harap lah, sanggup aku ambil EL dan bawak kereta pergi cameron highland cari ice cream strawberry. 

# good thing.. sampai office masalah tertinggal dalam kereta. damn how did I do it? hahaha aku sendiri tak tau macam mana :D tahniah kepada diri sendiri. well aku rasa aku boleh memotivasi diri macam ni sebab I have wonderful friends dekat office. geng office yang totally melapangkan fikiran kalau nampak muka dorang. nak nya pulak distraction jiran depan dah tak ada. wah lapangnya pandangan.....suka!

# malam tadi pergi cari tudung masa orang dah nak tutup pintu. tinggal suku je pagar dia buka, masa aku duk mencari cari tudung pun bangla ni dah buat muka. lantak lah kan. tak cari nanti tak ada pulak aku tudung OREN nak kena pakai esok pagi pagi buta. 

# esok ada ceo briefing. baju usherer kemeja hitam & tudung oren. kau ada? kenapa aku jadi usherer? depa kata sebab aku tak menonjol dalam department. mungkin kena pakai seluar ketat kasi tertonjol semua baru depa kata yaaaa awak sungguh menonjol kini!

# asik ulang lagu sama dah berapa hari. 

@ just give me a reason - Pink ft Fun
@ distance - christina perri
@ i knew you were trouble - tailor swift

lagu pun nak emosi je. dengar lagu ni sampai 2 hari aku tertido meninggal kan rakan katil. pukul 2 baru dia masuk bilik tanda protes sebab katanya aku tanak bersembang dengan dia. 

satu je jawapan yang pasti

aku letih 

dan kalau boleh aku nak tidur selama 36 jam. dulu zaman belajar dekat ukm balik dari fieldwork aku boleh mentidurkan diri selama dua hari sebab keletihan. setakat tertido dulu 2 hari berturut-turut tu apa lah sangat. belom extreme lagi.

ni dah mula lah ni nak naik angin masa menaip. dah dah

selamat hari khamis! :)